Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 2, 2011 19:07:06 GMT 2
She was late, two hours late, in fact Jeremy hadn’t even been on her mind when Jack had taken her home, far from it in fact, it wasn’t until after laying with him did she think of the task that now lay ahead, the task that terrified her beyond belief, meeting him, telling him, seeing the look on his face, that was going to break her heart, it was going to destroy her, yet she had chosen this path, and it was down to her to deal with it.
With trembling hands she pushed herself from her car, she could feel something of as she walked towards his apartment, she was two hours late yet he hadn’t rang her once, or text her, no communication or questions of where she was, just nothing.
With furrowed brow she knocked once before letting herself in, footsteps slow as she moved towards the kitchen, where she found him, there were no words as her gaze finally met his…what had she done.
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 19:25:15 GMT 2
Jeremy had thought better of touching the bottle but the pack had been easily worked through. He was halfway through the last one when she let her self in. There were shards of glass littering the floor, and he probably didn't look much better.
"So how was he? You miss your ex so much you forgot you were in a relationship with someone else?" He asked glancing down at his hands as he pulled the cigarette out from between his lips and blew the smoke out the side of his mouth.
He looked up at her with dark hallow eyes, if she wanted to be happy then she could be happy. Jeremy had already told her he'd try to make her happy even if it wasn't with him. He just didn't know that it was all coming crashing down so fast and so hard.
"Did any of it really mean anything to you? I mean did you have any feelings for me or was I just convenient until he came back to you an apologized?"
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Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 2, 2011 19:33:34 GMT 2
There was a bottle in front of him, un touched but still, it was there, a cigarette hanging from between his lips, with furrowed brow she looked at him, he knew, how the hell did he know, shaking her head she let out a breath “Your spying on me” She questioned dark eyes wide with shock, slowly stepping towards him.
He was broken she could see it in his eyes, the way he spoke, this was like the time he had spoken of his family, and her, his ex, the one who had broke his heart, the only difference was it was now because of her. “Its not like that, everything I said it was all true” She walked towards him, but hesitated as she got closer to him.
“None of this was meant to happen, Jer im so sorry”
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 19:51:35 GMT 2
"No I wasn't spying, I would have been blind stupid of getting cheated on again if one of the people I work for hadn't gone to talk to you. Then you probably would have gotten calls and texts about where you were, because I would have been worried you hadn't come over. So what is it that I did to deserve this? I mean it keeps happening over and over again to me so tell me what it is I keep doing that makes the women I would rip my heart out for cheat on me," Jeremy was standing as he finished off the cigarette, "I tried everything I could think of to show you I cared about you, to show you that you could be happy without all the pain that went with it. And all it takes is for him to drop you on top of a car and you forget all about me."
He grabbed the bottle off the table and unscrewed the top before grabbing a glass. He was ready to be done with coherency but he wasn't stupid enough to drink directly from this bottle.
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Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 2, 2011 20:13:04 GMT 2
Clenching her jaw she sighed, this wasn’t the way she wanted it to go, but then again how was she expecting it to go, she had cheated, had forgotten all about him until after, licking her lips she sighed, Johnny, again, the only person it could possibly be, typical, running a hand through her hair she watched him. “It wasn’t like that” She muttered, but it was useless, there was nothing she could say to him or do to make him feel better.
“It just happened Jer, even if I had stopped him, id still be here, stood in front of you telling you I cant do it” Licking her hair she eyed the glass and the bottle in his hand, shaking her head she bit the inside of her lip, “You don’t do anything wrong Jer your perfect” Lowering her gaze she sighed, there was nothing she could say, nothing she could do. “The bottle isn’t the answer”
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 20:50:16 GMT 2
"If I'm so prefect then why is it that the only thing I ever get when I try to find someone who will care about me is a broken heart and I'm left trying to piece everything back together? I..." he let the words die on his lips as he poured the clear liquid into the glass, "Alcohol is the only answer, If I can't think, I can't feel, and if I can't feel then I can't get hurt because someone can't just tell me they'll never care for me as much as they did for someone else."
He closed his eyes and downed the glass, he physically shivered at the taste. As soon as it was down he knew it had been a bad plan, it was easily stronger then it had been when he bought it, and even the little bit he did drink brought tears to his eyes. Jeremy coughed slightly, yes drinking Everclear was a bad bad plan.
He glanced at Faye and shook his head, "Why couldn't you just tell me sooner? Why did I have to find out like that? I mean after everything I told you about me... why did you do this? Just this morning everything was fine, you and I were working. Not even 24 hours later, it's gone... Everything is gone. No warning, no nothing."
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Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 2, 2011 20:57:40 GMT 2
She couldn’t answer his question how could she, how could she tell him the answer to the question when she didn’t know it she didn’t know why he wasn’t good enough for her, why she couldn’t let herself love him, why she had let Jack do what he had done.
Shaking her head she let out a breath and looked at him, watching him down the drink, he was stupid, an idiot, if he thought it was going to work, help, it wasn’t it just make things worse, as Jack had found out.
“You think I planned this, that I went to work looking for this?” She questioned stepping closer towards him, “He came to me, he kissed me” She all but yelled at him, she didn’t mean to get angry, had no right to get angry, this was on her, all on her. “If he hadn’t kissed me, id be here in front of you the way I was meant to be but he did and it made me realize I couldn’t do that to you, even if me and Jack….I cant give you half of me” She whispered, dark eyes sparkling with tears.
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2011 21:23:00 GMT 2
Jeremy looked down at her, "Don't yell at me. I didn't do this to you, Jack did. He's the one who walked away, I'm the one who was trying to show you there was more to life then suffering at the hands of someone else. And then as soon as he came back like a pitiful animal who finally realized how much they lost you took him back. Sure I have bad habits but I stopped them for you, because I wanted to be a better person for you. Everything I've done is to put a smile on your face because it's something I can be proud of doing."
Jeremy leaned towards her taking her head in his hands, "I know you never loved me, but did you at least have some feelings for me? Any at all that with time could have grown into more? Or was everything we did just because I could make you happy without him, give you the time to wait it out until he came crawling back."
He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't feel like being like her, she was with Jack now... He wasn't going to help her cheat on anyone else no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much it hurt and might give him the satisfaction of hurting the other guy he would rather be bashing the guy's face in.
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Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 2, 2011 21:30:15 GMT 2
She flinched at his words, he was right of course he was, and it hurt to admit it, but she was a glutton for punishment, maybe like him she wasn’t destined to be happy, if Jack hurt her again then she had lost a good part of her life in Jeremy, dropping her gaze she kept it on the floor she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bare to see the pain or the truth, she kept it there untill his hands cupped her face and she finally returned her gaze to him.
“I could have loved you” She whispered with a nod “If he hadn’t done what he did I could have loved you” Her own hands lifted to press against his hand, “I should have never let this start, get as far as it did, I knew I loved him, knew deep down some part of me was using you” And god damn she hated the fact she had done that, to him, of all people that she had used him. Swallowing she dropped her hand and pulled away from him, “and I thank you for everything you’ve done”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye “And im so sorry I hurt you” Heaving in a soft breath she stepped away from him turning to leave, there was nothing she could say, do to make him feel better, she had hurt him, that was on her.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 2:42:22 GMT 2
"More then three months ago I watched you walk away to a relationship you weren't happy with. Now I have to watch you walk away again, because of the same guy. If things don't work out this time, I'm not going to be there... I physically can't go through this again. It almost killed me the first time, and it's killing me now and your not even gone yet," Jeremy swallowed closing his eyes kind of glad that the nicotine high was well beyond blocking the immediate effects of the everclear.
He looked at her like a kicked puppy, he knew that what he looked like, because he could feel it radiating through his entire body. That injured feeling radiating through his entire body, straight to that black pit in his chest. He felt like curling in a ball and waiting the pain out, maybe this was all a nightmare and he would wake up to Faye holding him and asking him what was wrong.
"I'm sorry too," he said in a whisper as he looked down at the broken glass on the floor, "I'm sorry I was never good enough for you. I'm sorry I wasn't Jack. I'll make sure Johnny and I leave you alone, I know that would make you happy. All I wanted was to see you smile and make you happy, I didn't mind that you didn't love me, all I cared was that there was some one who cared about me not because they had to, but because they wanted to."
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Years Old
Scars run skin deep
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Post by Faye Perez on May 3, 2011 14:46:30 GMT 2
She stopped walking, dark eyes closing at his words, but it wasn’t the words that stopped her, it was the pain she heard in them, the pain she heard in every word he spoke, it broke her heart and she was the one doing it to him. Slowly she turned, dark eyes locked on his face, finally seeing him and what she was doing to him. Clenching her jaw she felt tears prickle to the corners of her eyes and a soft breath fell from her lips.
“Jer you were enough for me” Biting the inside of her lip she let out a breath, “I just, maybe im a glutton for punishment” She stated softly, “Your just to good for me” Licking her lips she let out a breath as her brow furrowed as she watched him for a moment, “Im sorry”
Without another word she turned away from him, and out of his door, out of his life.
Natassia watched Faye walk down the stairs and out of site before she moved from her car, licking her lips she waited at his door, waiting for the sign she needed to go back in.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 17:16:53 GMT 2
Jeremy looked at the door and closed his eyes as anger suddenly consumed him. He was pissed now, he couldn't tell wether it was at her, Jack, or himself for not doing something about Jack earlier. He blindly grabbed the last bottle of alcohol he had and threw it at the door. The potent clear liquid in the glass bottle just about exploded on impact, as Jeremy sank to his knees rubbing his eyes.
"Why can't I wake up... Why isn't this just a nightmare I can wake up from?" he said softly as the everclear like the wicked mistress it was came up to bite him.
Upon opening his eyes, the entire world shifted and swayed, making him feel nauseous as he heaved himself to his feet. One hand grabbing at the wall he moved towards the bathroom, he should have gotten rid of that bottle the first time it had done this to him. Jeremy swallowed back the urge to hurl as he closed his eyes and shoved open the bathroom door. He hated himself for being an idiot.
When the contents of his stomach was emptied to the porcelain gods Jeremy rocked back and rested his back against the wall. The anger had been washed away temporarily as the alcohol purged itself out of his system and the nicotine high finally started to fade away. He rubbed his eyes as he let out a choked sound of pain, he didn't get why this kept happening. Sure he was way above crying over a girl, but it still felt like a knife in his heart, Faye getting angry with him had twisted it deeper, her tears had ripped it out and plunged it in again. He had never wanted to see her cry, not because of something he did.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 17:48:37 GMT 2
Natassia heard the distinct smash of a bottle hitting the wall, ahh so he had found his stashed alchol, now the question was, had he drunk it first, licking her lips she hesitated at the door, he had told her to leave, and not come back, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him. She could have told herself it was due to the fact he was an asset, but she realized it was much more then that, she had grown attached to him, it was dumb, but she was a sucker for lost puppies, and that was exactly what he reminded her of, she had the urge to make him better, but she doubted she could.
Pushing open the door she looked around at the devastation, glass littered the floor, again, but so did liquid, biting the inside of her lip, before following the sound of heaving. With her body pressed against the wall she looked down at him, “Oh she really tore you up” She muttered moving towards him, kneeling in front of him, she pressed a hand against his cheek and smiled.
“One day I might get whats so special about her” Rocking back on her feet she pushed herself to her feet before holding out her hand for him to take, “Come on, lets get you some water, trust me you’ll thank me later”
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 18:35:10 GMT 2
Jeremy couldn't help himself as he leaned his cheek into her hand, he didn't want anyone seeing him like this and he had told her to leave, but he was in a way glad she hadn't listened to him. He looked at her hand before taking it and used the wall to push himself up from his position against the wall.
"I thought I told you to go home?" He said his voice rough from both the alcohol and it coming back to haunt him, "And next time leave a bottle of whiskey untouched... Not that there is anymore alcohol in this place or cigarettes," he muttered still feeling slightly out of sorts with himself.
He knew he shouldn't have drank the shot of everclear but he couldn't help it, he wanted everything to make sense, and complicated things made sense when he was drunk. Jeremy rolled his shoulders back, he could do this, he could deal with this just like he dealt with work. He had suffered enough and if he wasn't meant to be happy then he would deal with that too.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 18:40:56 GMT 2
Licking her lips she gave him a soft smile “You’ll learn soon enough I don’t do anything im told” She stated with a small smile, keeping her eyes locked on him for a moment she tried to assess him, he looked like hell, obviously the alcohol hadn’t agreed with him, licking her lips she kept her hand wrapped around his and tugged him into the kitchen, careful of the glass still on the floor. “Also told you alcohol solved nothing” Pushing him into a chair she brushed a hand over the side of his face before turning to search for a glass and then pouring him some water.
With a breath she set it in front of him and seated herself next to him, with a breath she let out softly, watching him eye the glass of water, “Trust me in a couple of hours you will thank me” tilting her head she rested her cheek on the side of her hand, “All honesty I don’t know what she sees in him, you by far the better man”
Yet even as the words left her lips she knew it wasn’t going to help only time would, time, and a hell of a lot of woman to take his mind of her, well hell even that wouldn’t work. Shaking her head she was once reminded of how her own actions affected men, pushing those thoughts away she watched him carefuly.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 18:59:57 GMT 2
"No Everclear doesn't agree with me," Jeremy said dryly as he sat down ignoring the glass shards under his bare feet.
He glanced up at her as she sat the water glass in front of him. The shear fact that the water looked suspiciously like Everclear was making his stomach turn. Yeah he wasn't going to be able to drink that right now. He looked back at Natassia and covered his eyes effectively blocking off the sight of the brunette as his elbow touched down on the table top. Jeremy wanted to groan, he knew exactly what kind of woman she was now, she'd never leave him alone until he either physically got rid of her or he convinced her that he was fine.
He opened his fingers to look at her though them, "Your not going to go away are you?"
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 19:49:03 GMT 2
Natassia rose a brow and shook her head, “Nope” She admitted with a small shrug of her shoulders, “And making me leave isn’t going to work either cus then I’d send Johnny or my brother” Licking her lips she smiled over at him, dark eyes twinkling as she watched him, letting a breath leave her lips her fingers lifted to brush through her hair, pulling the dark locks behind her ears, as she watched him carefully.
“I however will forcibly make you drink the water if you continue staring at it” And despite the fact she was smiling it was clear she wasn’t joking, she wasn’t lying, she would do it, and it wouldn’t be pretty.
Resting back in the seat she eyed him with a breath, concern, shinning in her dark eyes “Look I have a thing for helping people, so make my job easier and don’t fight me”
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 20:09:25 GMT 2
Jeremy laughed softly, "Yeah can't drink the water right now," he said softly as he slumped forward in his chair pushing the glass away with both hands as he kept hold of it, "I will gladly make your job as hard as possible if it means you'll get frustrated and leave me alone."
He wanted to be alone, he needed to clean up the mess that he had made, and then go out and buy more cigarettes. Jeremy knew better then to drink anything else tonight after the everclear incident. Hell the best plan was to go flop on the couch and go to sleep, the only place in the apartment where he and Faye hadn't bonded. Him and Faye, yeah that was over now. There wasn't going to be him waking up to see her, no more meeting her at the shack on the beach. The beach wasn't their beach anymore, it was his beach filled of memories of things that could never be again.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 20:33:19 GMT 2
Laughing softly Natassia nodded her head, “Go right ahead, I live for the challenge” Sighing she shook her head watching him for a moment, drawing her lower lip between her teeth she allowed him to get lost in his memories knowing he was thinking about her, she knew the best way to get his mind of her, was to put his mind on something else, only problem was she didn’t know him.
Heaving in a breath she let it out slowly, “Okay cut the water, you should get some sleep, ill clean up the glass” She muttered with a smile towards him. Eyeing him with a smile she let out a soft breath dark eyes sparkling as she watched him. “You loved her didn’t you” Titling her head she shook her head “Did she know” She questioned softly.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 21:10:46 GMT 2
"Yeah I did," he said softly, "And she knew I did. I just don't think she realized how much I did," He gave a half smile not really seeing the glass in his hands anymore, "I used to call her a goddess, because that's how much I cared about her. She had graced me with her attention, when most would have just let me be by myself, to my thoughts on the beach. She was so beautiful and she let me flirt with her even though she had someone to go home to, she even agreed to one date when things were on the rocks with...Jack... I was greedy, I just wanted to spend time with her, wanted to show her that not all guys were assholes. I watched her walk away and it almost killed me, because she got to me more then anyone I've ever met. We understood one another, and I... I didn't want that to be over. I called her out of the blue for advice on another woman I was interested in. I didn't even manage to think about the other woman when Faye and I were talking. I mean we ended up in my car at the beach making out in the front seat, that was the entirety of my attention span. We were together after that and we went out and I tried everything to show her that there was a thing called a relationship, that didn't involve people getting hurt. I took her on her dream date, which she said was perfect. I showed her what I used to do, my life before Johnny was in it permanently, I even gave us a bit of the childhood we had both missed," Jeremy laughed softly, "Hell the morning after Johnny went to talk to her I thanked him, and told him never to visit her again. I mean after Johnny talked to her, there wasn't a place in this apartment that we didn't christen, except the couch... I don't know why we never made it to the couch..."
He trailed off with a heavy sigh, that was probably more then she ever needed to know about his last failed relationship, "Your a woman, you tell me where I went wrong, because it happened the last time too."
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