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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 21:23:37 GMT 2
She listened to him with rapt attention because she realized he needed to talk about this, needed to get it of his chest, it would help, in the long run, and maybe when it was much later day the road, he would look back on his words here and realize the meaning of them, realize him self where things had gone wrong. She didn’t speak, just watched him with growing concern and a soft smile, he had really loved her, Faye had been lucky, here she had a man who had gone out of his way to make her happy, to make her feel loved and she had ran away from it, returned to a man who had used some other woman to make him feel something that wasn’t her.
Swallowing she let out a soft breath as his eyes returned to her, finally seeing he for the first time since he had started talking, with a smile she shrugged her shoulders, wishing she could give him an answer, give him some reason, but she couldn’t think of anything, nothing that would make any of this make sense.
Reaching forward without thinking she lent across, fingers pressing against the side of his face softly, a finger brushing over his jaw bone, “I wish I could explain” She whispered, “Wish I could give you a reason, but I cant, truth is she was stupid for walking away from you Jer” Lowering her hand softly she draw her lower lip between her teeth, “A man who takes a broken woman, is beyond perfect, this is on her Jer, not you, you just havent found her yet”
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 21:45:19 GMT 2
Jeremy sighed softly and let her hand stay on his face, "I hate to say it but I don't think I'm supposed to have someone like that. I mean I thought I found that one twice now, and both times they cheated on me. The small mercy this time, was that I didn't walk in on them having sex on our bed."
He let the glass go as he rubbed his face tiredly, it hurt, god it hurt. Everything hurt, memories, emotions, and even his heart almost physically ached. He didn't want to spend another six years looking for someone to heal his pain. He doubted he even had another six years to actually live through at the rate he was going, he was going to either get shot, or his liver was going to fail.
He stood up and grabbed a mop out of the pantry, "It's not that I don't want an answer, it's just no one gives me an answer. I mean even the people who've cheated can give me an answer as to why."
Jeremy needed to clean up the everclear before that was the only thing he'd smell walking into the apartment. He would be lucky if the wooden floor hadn't already soaked up most of it.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 22:12:55 GMT 2
She watched him once more as he stood, even with a breaking heart he realized what needed to be done and went about doing it, drawing her lower lip between her teeth she let out a soft sigh and pushed herself to her feet, instead of walking towards him she turned and headed to where she had left dustpan and brush before bending to her knees to clear away the shards of broken glass, careful to ensure she got every last remaining piece. Down on her knees she lifted her gaze, tendrils of dark hair falling around her shoulders as she watched him for a moment, pain was so evident in his eyes she felt it sweep her breath away.
She pushed herself away from her feet and headed towards the bin emptying the glass in it she rested against the counter, dark eyes locked on his face, “You really wanna know why?” She questioned with a raised brow, she was uncertain if she should give him some insight, it never actually made a man feel better, instead it made them feel worse. “Women they don’t want guys like you, as much as they say they do, its just not true, a woman wants a man who’s gonna treat her like crap and keep her on feet, cus its exciting, and they think somehow they can change em, it never works and they always end up getting hurt”
Letting out a breath she stepped towards him, dark eyes trailing over his face, “And it sucks that the good man like you gets treated like crap because he’s just not what they want” Licking her lips she ran a hand through her hair, knowing she herself was no better, she used men, good and bad for her own needs, to get what she wanted and what, in the end her family wanted. “End of the day the women are the manipulative cold hearted ones cus there designed to care, to love, to nurture and protect, a good guy they don’t need to do those things with”
Shrugging her shoulders she looked at him once more, “There is a woman out there though for you, trust me, not all woman are designed that way” She sure as hell knew she wasn’t, she knew who she was, what she was, and she didn’t wanna change, nor protect, or nurture any one but her brother. “Now you gonna drink that water?”
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 4:09:40 GMT 2
Jeremy shook his head as he mopped up the rest of the everclear, "No, it's getting taken as everclear in the eyes of my stomach. One hurling session is enough for me. I was an idiot when I drank the damn shot, the reason I stashed the stuff was because it didn't end well the first time, the second time wasn't much better."
He blinked hard trying to keep his focus on the topic at hand as he started to get detached as the whiskey kicked in at long last. He took deep even breaths and focused hard on the floor seeing all the glass as he tired to avoid stepping on any more, as he could feel several shards in the bottoms of his feet. Jeremy's eyes glanced up at Natassia and he smiled weakly.
"Yeah I guess I'm the sucker because I don't want to be an asshole outside of work. I give people enough hassle then and I want my personal life to be happy. It's asking too much right? I can't have someone who's happy with me unless I'm putting them through some kind of emotional drama... what kind of bull shit is that?"
He shook his head kind of regretting it as the world tilted slightly before bouncing back to normal. Right slow movements were the key to not puking anymore with Everclear. When he finished mopping up the floor he looked apologetically at Natassia.
"I would offer you somewhere to see since you aren't going to go away, but there isn't anywhere but the couch that you should even consider sleeping on... I have a lot of this apartment to clean."
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 13:38:31 GMT 2
Natassia licked her lips as she watched him slowly nodding her head, “You just go for the wrong type of women” She stated with a shrug of her shoulders, dark eyes sparkling as she turned her gaze towards him with a soft smile “You just need a woman who wants a quite life” Shrugging her shoulders she ran a hand through dark locks of hair, gaze wondering around the apartment, before returning towards him.
“How about you go get some kip and ill get to the cleaning” She stated softly stepping towards him, dark eyes wondered over his face, obviously the alcohol hadn’t agreed with him, not one bit, and he was going to feel it some time soon, he needed to get himself rested, drawing her lower lip between her teeth she let out a soft breath. Before she closed the distance between then and rested her hand against the mop.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 16:18:26 GMT 2
Jeremy pulled the handle out of her grip, "No I'll be fine. I need to keep working, plus anyway it's not your apartment and not your mess," he rubbed his temples with one hand as he sighed softly, "You really think there are any of those kinds of women out there. I've met a lot of women and absolutely none of them want a quiet life. Everyone wants a life filled of adventure, I can't imagine settling down to a quiet home life after everything I've been through."
He swallowed and continued moving around, he moved slowly and deliberately as he tried not to do anything that would have his stomach in knots. When he felt better he'd go to the beach and try to sort everything out. He needed to figure out what he was going to do now that Faye wasn't in his life. Jeremy's grip tightened on the handle, he remembered sitting on the beach with her the first time. He remembered singing to her, and sharing some of the worst memories he had with her.
It meant nothing to her, one of those memories he had shared with her was of his first ex. then Faye had turned around and done it too. That was the part that hurt the most, the fact he could tell she had slept with him after he had seen the video of her kissing him like that. It was like a stab to the gut, and that sick feeling had nothing to do with the alcohol.
Jeremy closed his eyes and rested his weight against the handle of the mop, he hated his memory, this and all of the bad shit was engrained forever in his mind, and he could never forget that.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 16:30:40 GMT 2
Natassia heaved in a breath as she watched him, slowly nodding her head “okay” She whispered softly as she watched him with concern once more, he was thinking of her again, it was obvious, whatever they had done together was now washing through his mind, it was clear as day, Natassia really had no idea what was so special with that woman but she had done a real number to two guys. A soft laugh fell from her lips as she slowly brushed a hand through her hair, moving to rest against the edge of the couch as she watched him.
“Funnily enough it’s the reason I came to LA, get out from my father’s shadow, make my own name, find that guy to settle down with” Shrugging her shoulders she laughed softly, “I mean don’t get me wrong I like my hectic life, but the thought of a relaxing evening sounds nice”
Drawing her lower lip between her teeth she watched him work for a moment, dark eyes sparkling as she watched him, she’d have to ring Johnny soon, let him know how Jeremy was doing, but first she needed to know how he was doing. Resting her hands on the arm of the sofa she smiled as her gaze caught his. “Sucks when the person you love doesn’t love you back” She muttered softly, a dry smile tugging the corners of her lips, “You just gotta suck it up and deal with it, or let it eat you alive”
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 16:52:58 GMT 2
"I've had an entire lifetime filled of people who don't love me, this is just another nail in the coffin. I'm thinking about giving up the love thing, it never gets me anywhere and when it does it leaves me suffering like this. If it had been another lifetime I might have jumped on to the possibility of someone wanting a calm life with someone but that ain't going to happen," Jeremy said rubbing his neck as he looked at her.
If it hadn't been under these circumstances, he would have tried his hand of flirting with her. If he didn't know who she was, he would have tried taking her home for a night of blind pleasure. But he couldn't even get his mind to think of anything to take his mind off of Faye. He took a deep breath and walked back into the kitchen pulling the soaked pad off of mop as he threw it in the trash.
Jeremy leaned against the sink and looked out at the city from the window, "There really isn't any point in lamenting over what's lost already. I lost my parents and shut down, I lost my first love and pulled up as many walls as I could. Faye broke through everything and now I don't know what to do."
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 17:00:52 GMT 2
A soft laugh left her lips, “The last thing on my mind is trying to seduce you Jeremy, but if your willing to spend the rest of your life alone, afraid to let someone in that aint a life to live” She whispered, she watched him, god she hated seeing people like this, hated seeing that look in their eyes, it reminded her so much of her brother, so much of the look in Deons eyes after Angel had left him.
Sighing she pushed herself up and moved over to the kitchen where he stood, her dark eyes wondering over his face, she had the urge to reach up and kiss him, to take away, even if it was just a moment, the pain washing through his body, yet she doubted he would react, but push her away and she couldn’t deal with more rejection.
“I wish I could tell you what to do” She whispered, fingers lifting to rest against his hand, softly brushing a finger over his knuckle, “But I cant, only you can do that, but your strong Jeremy, even if you don’t think you are…look at this as a good thing, she helped fix the cracks, don’t let her make them, keep them there and live your life” She whispered dropping her gaze with a soft sigh, if only things were that simple, if only it was as easy as her words were falling from her lips.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 21:31:55 GMT 2
Jeremy glanced at her for a moment and snorted, "Just because I don't exactly trust anyone, that doesn't mean that I won't be able to let someone in when they earn my trust. I know it's hard as hell now, and it hurts beyond belief, just like the first time. But at least this time the guy wasn't there and I didn't just loose it," he laughed bitterly for a moment, "If this keeps happening to me, who knows there's probably going to be a point in time where it doesn't even phase me any more."
He sighed softly and rubbed the back of his head still getting used to not having so much hair. It was funny actually, he had finally broken down and got it cut for her earlier that day since she said she would like to see it short and nothing. Well if nothing else it saved him from tying it up to get it out of his way.
Jeremy moved his arm away from Natassia as he shifted away from the window and slumped into a chair pulling one foot into his lap. He needed to pull the glass out before he ground it any deeper into his skin.
"I hope you aren't squeamish."
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 14:17:43 GMT 2
Natassia smiled, that made her feel better, if guys like him could no longer be in the world then what were woman like her going to do? Deal with all the assholes in the world, licking her lips she smiled, “Well then I hope you find someone worth having your trust” Yet the rest of his words made her frown, the fact someone had to get used to being treated like shit, being cheated on, it wasn’t fair, none of it was, didn’t they deserve to be loved as much as other people, “I hope you never reach that day Jeremy” Licking her lips she ran a hand through long locks of hair, dark eyes sparkling as she watched him.
She watched him moving away from her, a soft sigh falling from her lips, dark eyes sparkling as she watched him moving away, “My brother came home the other day after taking a wrench to the face, so no, not squeamish” Drawing her lower lip between her teeth she watched him as he worked his foot, obviously she hadn’t managed to grab all the glass, or he had stepped in it before she had cleaned it up.
“It suits you, ya know, the hair” She smiled, with a small shrug “I saw you at the opening, not many guys get to pull the whole long haired thing of…but you did” Dark eyes wondered over his face, “But this takes the whole sex appeal to another level”
A soft laugh left her lips as she moved towards the kitchen, she rummaged around the drawers until she found a clean cloth then ran it under the cold tap, wringing out the towel she returned towards the living room where he was sat. “Let me” She whispered dropping down to her knees in front of him.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 16:11:17 GMT 2
Jeremy snorted thinking about the massive guy taking a hit to the face, "And he walked away? Did he even realize that he was hurt, I mean not many people can take a hit like that and still be standing much less conscious."
He winced as he pulled a piece out letting it drop to the floor, leaving a bloody spot on the ground, "I should really know better then to walk on broken glass," he watched her drop to her knees in front of him, "You know it normally takes more then a bad breakup to get a woman like you on their knees wanting to fix my idiot mistakes."
Jeremy sighed taking a deep breath as he flushed slightly, "Uh thanks... I just left it long so I could get it out of my way and it didn't turn into a wavy fluffy mess."
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 16:23:53 GMT 2
Natassia laughed, shaking her head “Oh no he came storming into the house ranting and raving” She laughed softly, “Took him a good hour or so before he realized how bad it was” She shrugged her shoulders, she knew though if he didn’t have so much shit in his system there would have been no way he would have gotten up and walked away, let alone make it back to the summer house.
Her fingers smoothed over his feet softly, nails trailing slightly over the heel of his foot, “Well don’t tell everyone, I have a rep to uphold” She smiled, as her fingers slowly moved over his foot, prodding softly, making sure he had gotten out all the glass before placing the slightly wet cloth over it, her fingers wrapping around it to stem the bleeding, known facts, feet bled, like a bitch.
Licking her lips she looked up at him, noticing the flush on his cheeks “Note to self, compliment you more often” Dark eyes sparkled as she watched him, momentarily finding herself lost in his eyes, his dark good looks. Heaving in a breath she dropped her gaze down to something much safer, her hand wrapped around his foot, drawing her lower lip between her teeth she removed the cloth, checking it before pressing it against the heel once more. “How’z that feel” She questioned softly.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 16:51:59 GMT 2
Jeremy gave her a strange look, "Wow... I can imagine your brother getting mad, but that mad, that must have been dangerous for who ever hit him," he shook his head slowly letting the subject drop, some things were best left unknown.
He snorted, "And who exactly am I going to tell that wouldn't tell your father and have him riding my ass because of bad context?" Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Don't compliment me too often I wouldn't know what to do with myself."
He glanced at his foot in her hands, he could see the slight red stain starting to soak through the towel which was his blood. The glass shards must have been in deeper then he thought they were, and with alcohol in his system he was just lucky that he hadn't bled out when they first went in.
Jeremy nodded to her question, "It's good. I don't really have much feeling in my feet normally but that's what I get for being a wild child and not liking shoes," he smiled wryly as he brushed a hair away from her face, "Don't tell me you've got a soft spot for dumb asses in addition to sob stories."
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 17:25:23 GMT 2
Natassia looked up at him, he stopped any further questioning, which was good, cus she didn’t know how much she should tell him, and she didn’t want to lie to him, so the fact he didn’t question any further, meant he was smart. Licking her lips she just smiled up at him, fingers slowly massaging the area around his wound to get the blood flowing so that it would clot and begin healing quicker. Already a red splodge was appearing and she pressed tighter on it, not enough to actually cause pain but enough to get the blood to stop.
Tilting her head she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips, “Ya know that’s a good question…but honestly my dad stays pretty much out of my business, you should be more worried about Deon riding your ass” She laughed with a small shrug of her shoulders, Deon and her were two peas in a pod both had each others backs, both did stupid idiotic things.
His fingers brushed over the side of her face and her dark gaze lifted, looking up at him, a soft smile crossing over her face “Actually I have a thing for good guys who get their heart broken by chicks who arent worth anything” She shrugged her shoulders lowering her gaze.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 19:20:30 GMT 2
Jeremy laughed sarcastically at that, "Yeah just what I need, your muscle bound brother coming for my ass. I don't think the guys who see you know there is a big warning label that says 'Mess with at your own risk' hanging over you. Just taking one look at you I would never guess you had a body builder as a brother."
He glanced at her hands and smiled slightly, he wasn't really used to having anyone taking care of him when he was hurt. Not like this at all, hell his own mother hadn't taken care of him after he turned 10.
"Thank you for taking care of my stubborn ass... I'm not really used to have anyone want to look after me. I've been taking care of myself since I was 10, my folks were always pretty busy when I was growing up. I imagine your and your brother basically raised each other since your dad runs a pretty tight ship."
He wasn't using the sympathetic card, he didn't need to. Jeremy had an idea the things she had gone through growing up, and sure he had it a lot different then she did it wasn't as if he didn't know what that was like.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 20:04:14 GMT 2
Natassia let out a soft laugh, dark eyes twinkling as she looked up at him from dark lashes, “You should be more worried about my muscle bound body guards” Another laugh fell from her lips, she was actually surprised no one had rang her yet, wondering where she was, she’s guessed she could thank Gabe for that one.
Her dark eyes softened as she nodded her head, “Don’t worry about it, we all need someone to take care of us, be it a complete stranger or someone we care about” Shrugging her shoulders she draw her lower lip between her teeth as she listened to him speak.
“Yea after mom died things were tough, me and my brothers we’re all we got, we’re close when he isn’t doing something stupid” She muttered with a soft laugh, with a breath she pulled away the cloth and smiled. “All fixed” She whispered pushing herself to a standing position. Licking her lips she brushed a hand through her hair “Okay we’re do you want this” She questioned, holding up the cloth.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 21:11:19 GMT 2
Jeremy pushed himself off his couch and motioned her to follow him as he opened up a door where the washer dryer unit was, "Welcome to my laundry room, just toss it in there. I'll be back in a little bit."
He took a deep breath before heading down the hallway to where his room was. He might as well strip his bed and wash the sheets so he could give Natassia somewhere to sleep if she was planning on staying here as long as he seemed to be a risk to himself. Jeremy stepped into his room and could feel everything hitting him again like a lead brick, everything that happened between them was gone.
He'd have to come to accept the fact while he wanted to keep Faye, it wasn't his decision. She had chose the path the both of them took and it parted just as suddenly as they had met. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the passion that had been met on his bed, the actual lovemaking even though she didn't love him completely yet.
His eyes opened and he fumbled for the sheets, his hands feeling clumsy against the fabric as he pulled it off the king sized bed. Jeremy knew he needed to wash the sheets, if he didn't his mind wouldn't end this. His mind would always be reminding him of what had happened between he and Faye, of who he had lost because of Jack.
He sighed as they finally all came free and he bundled them up and walked back to Natassia, he wished she would go away, just as much as he wished she would stay. Sadly her being there with him was helping even though he didn't want it to. Jeremy shoved the sheets in the bottom washer and leaned against the wall as he felt sick again. It was a knife to the gut and it just wasn't going away, no matter what he did.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2011 21:21:25 GMT 2
Natassia followed behind him, before smiling, “Nice” She muttered before tossing in the cloth, when he was gone she allowed herself to relax, to think, to breath. The last thing she had expected when she had come here to make sure Johnny’s business partner was okay, was to feel anything, but the more time she spent with him the more she actually did. He was a the perfect guy, with bad luck, and bad taste in woman. Shaking her head she shifted pushing herself up onto the washing, legs swinging back and fourth as she pulled her phone free from her pocket, fingers easily hitting the speed dial for Johnny’s mobile.
It went straight to voicemail and after the beep she left her message Its me, he’s a mess im gonna stay here make sure he’s okay, you need me call Next her fingers scrolled down to Gabe quickly letting him no she was okay and safe, her brother was next on the list. doing a job for Johnny bbs…don’t worry…LY
Sighing she turned her head at the sound of him returning, her eyes were sparkling as she watched him approached, legs spreading so he could dump the sheets into the washer, smiling she used a leg to tug him towards her, one hand stopping on his chest, the other smoothing over his cheek, “Did I tell you I have a thing for lost puppies to” Her question left her lips softly, dark eyes sparkling as she looked up at him through heavy lidded eyes, “I hate seeing you like this” She whispered softly.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2011 3:29:21 GMT 2
Jeremy let her pull him in with her leg, he could have easily resisted if he wanted to but a good portion of him didn't want to resist her in anyway. The hand that stopped him was a given as his hips hit with a gentle thud against the metal of the wash machine. He couldn't help the flood of hormones, that he quickly squelched with the thought of Faye.
He took one look at her and he knew her game, and he wasn't playing. He wasn't even going to push his luck with her brother in town. Jeremy leaned towards her his lips breath's away from hers, as tempting as she was he didn't feel like having the poison kill him at the end of the day.
"If this had happened on any other day when I was single and not dealing with yet another bad break up, I would have already had you anywhere in this apartment. But it so happens I just got cheated on again, and aren't in the mood for any games, so I'm sorry but what ever you angling at I'm not playing," Jeremy chirred hotly before he pushed himself back, using his strength to get out of her grip.
He needed to finish cleaning things in his apartment, that alone would keep him awake and thus not dreaming of what should have been, or had actually been. It would stop him from thinking about what she was doing now. He would hold her above genuinely feeling bad, but Jack would be lapping it up, he would be thrilled that Jer was suffering because of what he did so underhandedly.
Jeremy's fist clenched and he slammed his hand in the wall, he was going to pummel the ass wipe the next time he was him. Everything was Jack's fault and Faye was going to be the one suffering if he screwed up again.
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